So having a baby is awesome - honestly it is but there are a few things that happen to you, your body and your relationships which not everyone may share with you or talk about.
Well, I thought I would share my experiences of these things since I have so many friends who are pregnant or who have just had a baby and why not share these real life things? It is totally normal and natural and comforting too when you realise that you are not alone.
Here are 9 things I reckon new moms would like to know.
♥ Breastfeeding is not easy at first. If you have decided to breastfeed - well done. It is not easy. It is hard and challenging but (in my opinon) is so very worth it. Your baby is learning to feed just as you are and you both have to learn how to latch on correctly and get the positioning correct. Your nipples will crack, bleed and scab and when your baby latches on in the first few days (in my case it took 7 days) your toes will curl and it will be excruciating. But with practise it becomes a doddle and now I don't even think about it when I pop Jack on the boob. For me, Lanolin nipple cream was a lifesaver and it helped to heal my nipples quickly and it is safe to use with baby.
*Please know that every mother and baby is different and breastfeeding doesn't come easily to everyone - I respect that. Do what is best for you and your situation.
♥ Giving birth by C-section hurts. I had a C-section (baby was breech) so can only speak from experience from that point of view but my god it hurts afterwards. Maybe my pain was not managed correctly but the first week after a C-section is tough. Remember you have had major surgery so it is going to take a long time to get back to normal. Take it easy. Don't lift anything except the baby and rest when you can. Be kind to yourself, don't overdo it and take the painkillers prescribed to you.
♥ Moving onto bowels - I am or shall I say was a pretty regular person in that department but it has been 9 weeks since I had baby Jack and still I am not back to normal. Going to the toilet for the first time after a C-section was weird since I had a catheter in for two days and you basically have to get your bladder and muscles getting used to weeing again. But that quickly got back to normal, it is the other one that takes time and what with all the painkillers you will be taking this can also slow down the process. Eat lots of prunes and fibre rich foods and drink plenty of fluids. Eventually it will become less of a strain (ahem) and I am told will go back to normal.
♥ There are going to be days when you will feel you have accomplished nothing expect feed, change, burp and nurture your baby. I think I was under the naïve impression that I would be able to shower, dry and straighten my hair and have a relaxing breakfast and coffee every morning once Jack was here. Cue raucous laughing - this is not the case. Some days I don't shower until 10pm at night and some days I stuff toast down my throat in 2 minutes to prevent passing out from hunger. This is normal and you will figure it out. You are doing an amazing job.
♥ Following on from this - you will become excellent at multi-tasking or doing lots of things in a short amount of time. When Jack finally falls asleep in the day, I have a mental note of what I want to do. I always eat and drink first as this is paramount for a functioning mama but then I hang out the washing, wash up, load or unload the dishwasher, do a quick tidy, any admin etc. You learn to do things quickly and manage your time smartly. It is amazing what I can do in 30 minutes.
♥ You will miss your old life. I have days, now becoming moments when I wish I just could have the day off or even the evening off. I just want to curl up in front of the TV with a cup of tea and a packet of biscuits and watch my favourite programme uninterrupted. I want to have a shower without imagining I can hear Jack crying. I want to go to the shops without taking a tonne of baby paraphernalia with me. I want to sleep 7 hours like I used to and wake up when I want to. But these thoughts are quickly dismissed when Jack gurgles, smiles and giggles.
Then I think to myself, this is so worth it.
♥ Your priorities change. I am quite a house proud person, my husband and I like things looking a certain way. Well that has gone out the window (for me anyways). Housework is just not important to me anymore. When I get 5 minutes to myself now, I cherish it and don't automatically think I should be vacuuming/cleaning/doing chores. Those can wait. And I will tell you that it has taken me 8 weeks to realise this. It is not easy for me when things are out of place or not done in a certain way but guys, there is more to life. Remember this.
♥ Hormones will be flying high. One minute you will feel calm and collected and be thinking "I got this parenting gig down" and literally the next minute you will be ugly crying into your husbands shoulder asking how are you going to do this? This is so normal - I cried for no reason in those early weeks - it's natural. Your body is adjusting and is just gone through a major change as well as your life changing dramatically. Let yourself feel what you feel and talk to your partner about it too - contrary to popular belief they are not mind readers!
♥ Your relationship with your husband/partner will change. Instead of cuddling on the couch or having an intimate moment etc. you will look at each other at 7:30pm in the evenings and both be thinking the same thing. Lets go to bed....to sleep. You will see each other cope with things you never thought possible. You will get cranky at each other from lack of sleep and you will have arguments. Especially as Jack is a colicky baby it is so difficult in the evenings when you are both exhausted and you have a screaming baby you are trying to calm down. Remember that you are both doing a great job - compliment each other and be kind. It will pass (God, I hate those words) but unfortunately they are true. Every phase is replaced by another one!
There is nothing like being a parent - nothing can prepare you no matter how many books you read or how much advice you are given. It is a beautiful journey and everyone is different - that is the joy of it. You are on your own path of parenthood. Enjoy it! ♥
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P.S. Why not check out the giveaway I am running with the lovely Mama Tea? You could win a range of tea perfect for moms and moms-to-be! It is open to readers worldwide - enter for a friend or for yourself. Only one week left!
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2 comments
Well said.
ReplyDeleteHere's a few more;
- Your body will be foreign to you once baby is here. It feels different, you carry weight in areas you previously haven't, your blobs will react as if they have a mind of their own growing to enormous proportions one day and then sagging like deflated balloons the next and it's taken eight weeks for me to realise that that's okay. Creating, carrying and having a baby is a huge achievement and you've got the rest of your life to get back into shape. One tip - don't even try to get into your old jeans. Just buy new ones that fit well and you'll feel great. Somebody Bright and Illustrious gave me that nugget of advice.
- Resist trying to get your old life to merge with the new one. You can grab the odd moment that's familiar to you, but you have to realise that you've moved onto different times. It's not about you. But that's okay. I've always loved to sleep in, but it's taken weeks for me to accept I can't do that now. And I'm surprisingly okay with that.
- Your baby will develop at a different rate to others; whether that's weight, socially or physically. Stop comparing and you'll feel great.
- Motherhood brings a confidence you didn't realise you had. Trust your instincts, pick and choose advice and know that you're doing the best for your baby. Healthy weight gain, despite problems with breastfeeding or colic etc, is a great indicator of your child's well being.
And most importantly, when people say that kids grow up fast, they're not wrong. Enjoy the good, the bad and the ugly (that one refers to me) and cherish every moment.
Hannah
Blobs... I meant boobs. But same difference I guess at this point ��
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